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-Fat Luggage

Away We Go to Beardland.

The Beards of Hollywood staff got together this past Thursday night to see Away We Go at the Landmark Theatre in Greenwood Village. Free concessions? Check! Plush leather seats? Check! Bar with Happy Hour? Check! So, automatically, I loved this place. I'm a sucker for free root beer. And the Lons got a beer. At the theatre? Am I the only one that thought this was insanely awesome? Blew my mind.

Anyway, I was pretty excited about Away We Go. With a cast featuring John Krasinski, Maya Rudolph, Jeff Daniels, Allison Janney, and Maggie Gyllenhaal, it is hard to go wrong. And with a director like Sam Mendes and a writer like Dave Eggers, there was absolutely no way that I would not like this movie. When the movie started and the music of Alexi Murdoch came on, well, that is when I fell in love.

The best part about this movie? Virtually every guy has a beard or awkward facial hair of some sort. Let's take a closer look.


Alright. I'm just going to throw this out there. I hated John Krasinski's beard. You know how some guys look like they are trying a little too hard with the beard thing? That's exactly how this beard was. The beard embodied the whole "took a long time to look like it took no time at all" persona. It was pretty full, as you can see, but almost looked like something a seventeen-year-old hippie from my high school would have sported. It also kind of seems like it sprouted up one night and he couldn't think of anything to do with it. This guy is like Teen Wolf or something. Don't get me wrong, I loved his character in the movie, but the beard was all wrong. It distracted from the character instead of adding to it. See? I'm right about this. You'll come around.


A guy that was totally rocking his facial hair: Jim Gaffigan. Check out that 'stache. It fit perfectly with his skeezy character and only complimented the look instead of distracting the viewer, in the way that John Krasinski's managed to. Krasinski looks like a muppet (who wears visors, by the way?), but Gaffigan looks like pervert that I wouldn't want to have any type of conversation with, which is exactly the look that Gaffigan's character is supposed to be.


Jeff Daniels was another guy with excellent beardage. I was a little sad that his role was limited in the movie, but it was worth it. Check out that expertly salt-and-peppered furface. Maybe if Krasinski was a sixty-year-old man, his beard would be this impressive, but he's not. I think it might be a steady combination of the coiff, beard, glasses and cableknit sweater. This beard implies wisdom, people, and fashionable wisdom, at that. Also: a love of Denmark, apparently.



Jeff Daniels' beard is pretty hard to beat, but I think Chris Messina was giving him a run for his money. Feast your eyes on that scruff. That's right. This beard sends out a signal that reads: I am really important and busy and I don't care that I have facial hair. However, it's a pretty user-friendly scruff level. This beard paired with the vest may complete my favorite ensemble of the movie, and believe you me, I was a fan of Rudolph's pregnant dresses, so this is saying something. In the movie, Messina has about six hundred kids or something close to that, so he's just being such a good dad, thinking of his jawline second to his children. That's right. The beard is not only aesthetically pleasing, but it's honorable.

Really, a great movie. I full out belly laughed during a few parts and I might have also shed a few tears, but don't tell Luggage. Go see it. You will not be disappointed (in anything other than Krasinski's stupid teen wolf beard, hopefully).