The 'Beards of Hollywood' Directors Cut Volume IV

Well, it looks like my lack of speed to execution has let our good friends at JoBlo.com beat me to the punch... They put up an article (MOMENTS AGO) as I was writing this so I am deleting my ENTIRE article and starting over....

I am adding a link to JoBlo.com that pretty much sums up what I was in the midst of writing about... I had some great stuff... Alas, them JoBlo.com Boys beat me to it, so here 'ya go CLICK HERE to see what our Brothers in Beard have to say about our next Beards of Hollywood Directors Cut Master..... Guilermo del Toro!


Unquestionably one of the finest directors working in Hollywood today. One whom I believe is JUST beginning to find his creative spark that will launch him to the forefront of everyone's mind.

This man has 8 Films at some phase of development currently. I will repeat myself at the risk of being crude "8 FILMS" in development at the moment!! Friends that is a Speilbergian levels of commitment to the craft and shows his passion for his work like few before him.

1. Drood
   
2. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
3. Frankenstein
4. The Witches
   
5. Saturn and the End of Days
6. Champions
7. Deadman
8. Death: The High Cost of Living

And that list doesn't include some of those mentioned in the JoBlo.com article I linked previously.. WOW... more like 10-12 films in the works!!!! Get ready to know this mans name.

Now, here is a rundown of the mans Film and TV accomplishments to date. Most of them you may not know, however, they are ALL worth your time, especially his crop of Hollywood films:

1. The Hobbit 2 (2012) (announced)
2. The Hobbit (2012) (announced)
   
3. Cinema16: World Short Films (2008) (V)
4. Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)
   
5. Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
   
6. Hellboy (2004)
   
7. Blade II (2002)
   
8. The Devil's Backbone (2001)
   
9. Mimic (1997)
10. Cronos (1993)
    
11. "Hora Marcada" (5 episodes, 1986-1989)
    - Hamburguesas (1989) TV episode
    - Caminos de Ayer (1988) TV episode
    - Con todo para llevar (1988) TV episode
    - Invasión (1988) TV episode
    - Les gourmets (1986) TV episode
12. Geometria (1987)
13. Doña Lupe (1985)

Looks like I see the HOBBIT on here (From our good Bearded Friend Peter Jackson, That crazy UNfat bearded bastard!)... Two Hobbits films actually! Sounds like lots of beards, in front of AND behind the camera and enough of the Shire Pipe Weed Little People to _______ well you fill in the blank.

Do FEET BEARDS COUNT? I'm just asking?

Looks like these cats at The Hobbit Blog will handle the bloggin' for this series so go check them out. The site hasn't been updated since April 24th, but then again there really isn't TOO much news about these films at the moment, we will keep your blog locked and let you know what falls in and out of the cracks, ESPECIALLY if it has to do with beards... Which you already know.

Another reason to love the man.... He did trash 'Twilight". Here it pokes a little fun at that film and talks about his love of vampire movies and his plans for a trilogy of vampire films (is that like 15 movies now he is working on!!?!??) Consequently, if you want a good film about teenage vampire love go check out "Let The Right One In", come back here and let us know what you think, I am sure I speak for us all when I say BRILLIANT!!



Come on folks honestly the man is the shit, plan and simple. He will continue to create great films just like the beards before him have done and keep us coming back for more.

del Toro Films: Official Fan website really says more than we can here, shit we just want you to know all about great beards and beard news. Check them out HERE.

Honestly this mans name truly is worthy of being added to the Beards Of Hollywood Directors Cut. You may not know his name yet but soon he will be added into the same sentence as Kubrick, Spielberg, Lucas, Jackson and so many more great bearded directors AND even those that prefer to go without the beard, but that is another bloggers story yet to be told!!


Here's to you del Toro, watching you make it happen is just plain old fun. Keep it up.

'Till Next Time.
Super E

Upcoming Beards: Moon

Sam Rockwell starts off with a great beard in this trailer for MOON. Moon looks like it will be a good one. Hopefully someday I too will have a robot with the voice of Kevin Spacey to cut my hair!

Upcoming Beards: The Road

Check out Viggo Mortensen's upcoming beard in this trailer for THE ROAD. Living in a post apocalyptic world means there is no time to shave. Everyone gets a beard!

Ladies and Gentleman the "King of Beards" - Zach Galifianakis

I was going to wait until after I went to the screening next week of his new movie; The Hangover, however I simply couldn't wait any longer. Zach Galifianakis is truly a comic genius. He also has the beard to match, it is spectacular!!

There I said it, it's now out there and if you don't know who he is check out this recent post to funnyordie.com - NSFW!

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

Brilliant. Look to Funny or Die (Will Farrell and Adam McKay's website full of funny shit) for more Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifinakis antics.

I will update this article after my screening of The Hangover next week, I have heard nothing but positive feedback from this new Todd Phillips film (Director of Old School, Bittersweet Motel, Road Trip AND Old School Dos- set for release in 2011) so far. Here is to hoping it lives up to the hype.

Zach has been paying his dues for years now and it finally looks like the world at large is ready for his brand of the funny. He has slummed it in films like Below, and stole the show in Bubble Boy! Currently he can be seen in theaters in the film Gigantic playing the character 'Homeless Guy', fucking brilliant! Set for future release he has 5 films in the works!! Stay busy Zach, it is good to see you doing your thing!

'Till next time,
Super E

Lady looks like a dude

Some may wonder what sort of contribution I, The Lons (a beardless female) could make to ‘Beards of Hollywood’. What do women know about beards, right? I mean let’s face it, most women spend their lives ripping the hairs from their follicles not growing them. Well scoff if you must, but I know just as much about beards as you. Growing up I found it fascinating that so many groups of my male friends would spend months growing beards or mustaches together…a sort of bonding experience. I’ve watched my friends who were unable to grow beards (I call them “follically challenged”) watch from the sidelines, truly devastated at their inability to participate. Not everyone can grow a beard, therefore it is a true accomplishment. A beard can also have a lot of impact on how one is perceived. The shape of a beard can suggest character traits, making one look refined, rugged, vagrant, grizzly, sophisticated, shrewd…the list goes on. A beard is not just hair. Don’t worry boys, I get it.

Now that I’ve hopefully earned your acceptance, let’s talk movie beards. I’m proud to say that I have found a well known actress who is sporting a full beard for her next roll. The seductress herself Salma Hayek is taking on the role of Madame Truska a.k.a “The Bearded Lady” in the upcoming Paul Weitz film Cirque Du Freak. The film is based on the best-selling book series by Darren Shan and is set to be released in 2010. With a cast including Willem Dafoe, John C. Reilly and Ken Watanabe, my interest is piqued.

A very hairy Hayek was photographed on the set in New Orleans City Park in Louisiana.
I can hear some of you already saying "But that's not a real beard!" To you I say this...Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra and Jenna Jameson's boobs aren't real...are they still boobs? I find this beard absolutely noteworthy. While this is her first full-beard film, this is not the only movie where Hayek has donned interesting facial hair. In the 2002 film Frida, she sported an impressive unibrow and soft mustache in her portrayal of the late artist Frida Kahlo.

This woman fully embraces and respects the power of facial hair in film. Some may find she's ahead of her game while others probably want to toss her a bottle of Nair. However, here at 'Beards of Hollywood' ...Selma we salute you.

Cheers,

The Lons

Jack Black proves me right.

I have always wanted a beard. Especially a mustache. They're like a little pet for your face! Unfortunately, my upper lip does not allow for this behavior. And neither does my mother. So, Luggage has allowed me to channel this desire into something that will benefit the community.

I wanted my first post to be about women with beards. However, there's a lack of these in Hollywood, I have found. Am I wrong? Someone prove me wrong. There are plenty of them in the real world. Like that cashier at Wal-Mart? ...

Instead, this is about Jack Black. This may seem random, but hear me out. I have always thought that certain guys only get girls because they have really good facial hair. Jack Black is single-handedly proving me right in the simple fact that chicks dig beards. Even ugly, fat, spazzy guys with sketchy beards.

Jack Black is sporting the "I'm... dirty" kind of beard that just screams laziness, but he pulls it off. It goes with the over-the-top kind of persona (is it a persona?) he usually has. It's scruffy and it has holes. Like his acting career. Honestly, that otherwise-disgusting beard becomes endearing when paired with the chubby, hilarious kind of guy. But what really makes this facial hair impressive is his choice of mustache. Notice, it does not meet in the middle. That's just good genes, people. You can't fake that.

You'll notice that this beard is so effective that it overrides the unfortunate "frosting" experience that's going on up top and still allows for the girl-getting. And she's cute, too, see? It's impressive. I think we could all learn a thing or two from this Jack Black and his facial fur.

The 'Beards of Hollywood' Directors Cut Volume III

I love this weeks Directors Cut focus, Mr. Stanley Kubrick! I didn't get this guy for years, and rightfully so, his shit was usually way over my head. Then, around 19 I started to get really into film and the art of filmmaking in general, Clockwork Orange sorta went over my head for a moment but The Shining and Dr. Strangelove I got right away.

I really don't know why he hasn't made a movie since 1999... Oh wait, he is dead! Which really hurt the world of filmmaking and delt it a painful, sudden blow. Kubrick was finishing the final edit of the 1999 film, Eyes Wide Shut. Somwhere in the ballpark of 7,223,422 miles of film from what I have heard. I believe I actually rounded down, why wouldn't he want to keep checking every single frame he shot of Nicole Kidman's hot ass naked body?

Even his death can't stop this man! There are currently 2 scripts that I am aware of making their rounds in Hollywood. The New York Times is reporting that his treatment for 'Lunatic at Large' (2010) is currently in development. The story focuses on a dude who gives a ride to a millionaire and in exchange the millionaire offers to trade lives with the guy, only to find out that the millionaire is really an escaped mental patient. The script is from his Paths of Glory era, so who knows. We all know that Darren Aronofsky has been back and forth with whether or not he will make Kubrick's Napoleon treatment a reality but I say, hell yes Darren make this bitch, and GROW A BEARD ALREADY!

The last film to be taken from a Kubrick treatment was A.I. (I personally liked it, but thought that Spielberg wasn't at his A game!) It was great to have one beard directing another beard's work, and it worked out as a whole, I mean, Teddy was the shit and Chris Rock was miscast and shitty, so we had that going for us.


His work is legendary. His life was extraordinary, His antics were secondary to none. He was a recluse. He was a picture of perfection in all terms of the words (did you see him make Shelly Duvall cry in The Shining making of? Sweet tap dancing christ this man was scary. I blame the big whiskers!)

Here is a rundown of his bad assery:

1. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
   
2. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
   
3. The Shining (1980)
   
4. Barry Lyndon (1975)
5. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
   
6. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
7. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
   
8. Lolita (1962)
9. Spartacus (1960)
   
10. Paths of Glory (1957)
11. The Killing (1956)
12. Killer's Kiss (1955)
13. The Seafarers (1953)
14. Fear and Desire (1953)
15. Day of the Fight (1951)
16. Flying Padre: An RKO-Pathe Screenliner (1951)

There really isn't anything else to say. So here is one last sweet picture of the Legend.


Grey Beards ghost probably just chills with this cat in the netherworld talking about why in the fuck he never made a pirate movie!

Till next time,
Super E

The Beards of JoBlo.com!

Hey world, Fat Luggage here! A couple of years ago I stumbled upon this little corner of the internet called JoBlo.com, and I have been going there almost every day since then. I never actually joined it until about a month ago, but I used to print out their lists of dvd release dates every week to let everyone know about what was coming out that week. Nowadays, I check it before any other movie news website (And then I usually check out Movie Hotties). They have a lot of good stuff on their sites, including the main site, that has all your general movie news and some headlines from the other sites. Then you get ArrowintheHead.com for all your horror movie news. Next, there's the DVD Clinic, for all your dvd news and the new release lists. Then they have the great section of beautiful women in movies, Movie Hotties. Now they also have MyJoBlo.com, which is kind of like a movie centric social networking site that links together with all the other parts of the site, and also houses the great JoBlo forums.

They also have a couple bearded writers, which is the real reason I'm writing this. These guys write for one of the biggest movie news websites on the net, so that qualifies them for an article on our site.

This is Berge Garabedian AKA JoBlo, the founder and CEO of JoBlo.com. Pictured here with the great bearded Kevin Smith.

And this is John Fallon, AKA The Arrow, webmaster and head honcho of ArrowintheHead.com. A good picture too.

The last bearded one on the site is JimmyO, the west coast correspondent and a critic on the site. I like this picture the best, cause it looks like JimmyO is straight out of a European death metal band (and this picture was taken in a cemetary, which makes it a good one too).


If you want news about beards and mustaches in Hollywood, come to our site first. But, if you want good movie news, be sure to check out Joblo.com. And for all the rest of the staff over at JoBlo without beards, I can't take anything you say seriously until you grow some beards. haha I kid.

Are you a MexiCan? ...Or a MexiCan't?

Barbas! Barbas! Barbas!

That's Spanish for Beards! At least I'm pretty sure it is. It's been a pretty long time since I was in a Spanish class. It's Cinco de Mayo today, so I am going to post this picture of my all time favorite Latino actor, Danny Trejo. I guess he spent a lot of time in and out of jail as a kid. He must have learned all his good acting skills in San Quentin.

He always has that good mustache! Plus, Robert Rodriguez announced a couple weeks ago that he is going to co-direct the movie, Machete, with Danny Trejo. It started off as a fake trailer at the beginning of Planet Terror, but now it has a target finish date of sometime in 2010! Check out the trailer for it:

((NOT SAFE FOR WORK!))

Oh! It is also apparently John Rhys-Davies birthday today. Happy birthday Gimli!

"NOT THE BEARD!"

The China Syndrome - Asian Beards in Film

Turner Classic Movies is running a great show this month on Asians in Cinema, It gave me an idea, why not find out about facial hair ON Asians in Cinema. Here is a link to Tuner Classic Movies - Race & Hollywood Asians.

Now... Looking around the world of Hollywood it would seem that Asian actors don't get the choice roles starring facial hair. There have been a few that have rocked the good stuff like actor James Hong (As a side, I don't think this photo from Big Trouble in little China counts as the real deal but it is bad ass) who grows a thin veil of the good shit from time to time for his roles.

or Nao Omori in Ichi the Killer (which was super bad ass by the way)

Generally they get relegated to the clean shavin' for their part in film Hollywood films.

Here are a few good beard examples to tout:

Toshirô Mifune (Red Beard)

Hiroyouki Sanada (Last Samauri, Sunshine, Speed Racer)

and Nicolas Tse (currently working on 3 films in Asia- Ching yan, Fung Wan II and Shiyue Weicheng)

Seems few and extremely far in between...

Of course we always have our Caucasian actors who will portray Asians in cinema:

Killer beard Tom!!! I know, he wasn't PLAYING an Asian but none the less, the beard is the shit.

If you find more great Asians with beards comment below!

Until next time,
Super E